I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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