I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
