I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
