Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
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