You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The Olympian is in my bed
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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