did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
