i already hear my dad disowning me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
