I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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