i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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