please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
