STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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