i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
