It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
