It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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