well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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