Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
MIDGETS
????
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
