he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize