I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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