im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
