We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
