I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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