May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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