I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
