So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
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I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
