Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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