i would punch a child for taco bell
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
