He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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