We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
