i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
