we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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