Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
