I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
