my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
