; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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