Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
