he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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