Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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