i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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