STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
