Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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