I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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