so that wasnt chicken after all
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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