Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize