I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
