Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
