Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
17 year olds will be the death of me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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