When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
