I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
