i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
