i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't deserve a penis
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
