69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
