Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
