Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
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Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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