I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
