i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
