so that wasnt chicken after all
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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