she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
