So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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