I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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