you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
