You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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