you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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