So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize