Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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