We won't sleep together?
Your dad touched me again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
