can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
