Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
