Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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