Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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